Adoption/ Abortion

If You Are Pregnant...

Its not uncommon to feel that your only options are abortion or raising your child on your own. There are other options; and the decision is yours.

No one else will live daily with your decision, which is why no one else can make this decision for you.

The best thing you can do for you and your future child is to educate yourself about your options and feel confident that you have found the solution that is right for you.

Our Sadness

Well we had been fighting for Colby for over 17 months. Our fight is over, Colby was removed from our home and sent back to his birthfather on December 6th 2008. Our hearts are broken. We miss Colby everyday. But we also know that this is God's plan. Heavenly Father wouldn't put us through this unless He knew we could handle it. It has now been 7 weeks since he left. We are keeping ourselves busy and trying to make some decisions on what next. We were ready to continue our family growth before Colby left, we just didn't know how we wanted to do that. We love adoption and even though we have had the most unimaginable happen to us, we know that adoption is still a huge blessing. We plan to adopt again. We are getting ourselves ready to adopt again and we plan on using this site as a way to promote our adoption. Colby will always be a part of our lives. We will always miss him and love him. But there are more children out there for us to love! We just need to find them.

Colby's Story

Colby Elam Scott Lewis was born June 30th 2007. He is a beautiful baby boy and we are so blessed to have him in our home. On June 25th of 2007 we were called by our agency (LDS Family Services) and told that we had been chosen by a birthmother in Tennessee to adopt her baby, she didn't know if it was a boy or girl and she was due any day. We weren't even told her name yet, and we forgot to ask until later. We were so excited we didn't know what to do. We had planned a camping trip on the 29th and we were debating whether or not we were going to go. So we decided that we would go and then come back Saturday so that we could check our phones and see if anything happened.

Well we walked in the door Saturday morning, we all took showers and then I laid down on the coach, and fell asleep. My first instinct was to do laundry and get the house cleaned for no real reason except that it real NEEDED to get done, but I then woke from my nap at 11 am on the couch to my phone ringing. A little boy had been born at 10 that morning and we needed to come and get him!! "A boy!! A boy!!" That's all I could say, Jake was just trying to figure everything out and Jessalyn thought someone was hurt, so she was crying.

Then we pulled it together and Jake went to the airport to get tickets and I hurried and packed (dirty clothes eeewwww) and got us ready to go. We flew into Knoxville at 10 pm and so we went straight to our hotel and prepared to meet Rachel and Colby the next morning.

We got up the next morning and headed to the hospital. We had to call up to her room to get a special code to come in and when Rachel answered the phone I just remember thinking she sounded like an angel. So we typed in the code and up we went. We walked into the room and Rachel was on the bed, Colby in the bassinette. She was amazing and so strong, very quiet, and very nervous as were we. Colby was so content.

I remeber picking him up and Jessalyn at my side I looked over at her with tears in my eyes and she said "that's my baby." I giggled and said, your right he is our baby. We were able to take Colby from the hospital Monday, July 2.

We had to stay in Knoxville for two and a half weeks. My mom was able to come up for a week (and we, especially Jessalyn were so greatful) and help us out. She is amazing. We were also blessed to be able to meet and get to know his birth family a little better, they are all amazing and strong people. We love them so much.

Colby is an amazing baby. He is the happiest baby I have ever seen, he has the most infectious smile and laugh and we just love him so much. He fits. He and Jessalyn play amazingly well and love each other so much. We are so blessed.

Thank you Rachel- for making us whole!

What is Real?

This post was taken from my new dear friend's blog, hanna, she and her husband are waiting for adoption. I read it and automatically thought i needed it on here. So thank you hanna, i hope you don't mind!

I found a mother's day talk on my yahoo adoption group that had me in tears. The woman who wrote it had experienced infertility and many years of tears and prayers...and then she was blessed with the gift of a child through adoption. People don't always understand adoption, therefore there are often comments made that may be well-meaning, but are offensive. One thing that people say to adoptive parents is "where's his/her REAL mom? What did their REAL dad look like?

I feel like as an adoptive mom it is not only right for me to help clear up these misconceptions, but it is my calling. Having the oppurtunity to gain a family through adoption is something that some people might not be willing or able to do. But those who do adopt understand that every child, biological or not is Heavenly Father's child and is only on loan to us for this earthly existence.

Here is a little from her talk. She actually used the story of the Velveteen Rabbit in a way that I had never thought of before.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?" (Or the ability to bear your own children) "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.""Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become.It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefullykept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off (or you have pulled it all out!), and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I ended up where I was intended to be!

-Thanks again Hanna.

Jessalyn's Story

Jessalyn Taylor May Lewis was born Oct 7, 2005. We were blessed to recieve a phone call October 11th, telling us that we had been chosen by her birthmother, Marie, to adopt her. My husband and I quickly reserved airline tickets, and flew to Arizona to pick her up. We met our daughter for the first time when she was five days old. We walked into a church in Flagstaff, AZ at 2 pm on October 12th. We were so nervous, What do you say to someone who is giving you their child? We had so many emotions running through our minds and bodies that we jsut didn't know what to ask, say, think... Anything.

We were then taken to a room where Jessalyn's birthmother was waiting. She seemed just as nervous as we did. We had some small chat for awhile and she told us about herself and Jessalyn. She also told a the little she knew about Jessalyn's birthfather. Apparently Jessalyn's birthfather had passed away when Marie was a couple months pregnant. She is such a strong woman! I still regret the fact that we were only able to talk to Marie for 20 minutes! It just doesn't seem long enough. It was at that time that we also agreed on contact obligations. She asked for letters and pictures and we were more than happy to comply. It was the least we could do! After our short chat Marie went and got Jessalyn and brought her to us.

WOW! I can't begin to tell you how that felt. The moment Jessalyn was placed in my arms I knew that she was mine. I knew that I was her mom and she was my baby. I never had a doubt. She fit! That's all, she just fit, perfectly.

We took a few pictures and then we were off, we were now new parents to a beautiful baby girl. What do we do now? Well, we need to go buy diapers, formula, bottles, clothes!!! AAAAHHHHH! It was really overwhelming. Then with the laws in Arizona and Nevada (where we lived) we had to wait 2 weeks before we could take her home. So we went to a hotel apartment. It was the most amazing two weeks. Jake and I were able to bond so strongly with our baby and we could ask for more.

The next few months went by without a hitch.

We were able to take Jessalyn to court and have everything finalized for her adoption on April 18th, 2006. THe judge hearing our case told us something I will never forget. He said "When I sign these adoption papers, Jessalyn is no longer your adopted child, she is YOUR child. She is to be treated as your child and no differently. God placed her in your home because that is where she belongs." He couldn't have been more right. OUr home is exactly where she belongs! We love her so much and are so blessed to have her in our home to bring us joy and to teach us soooo many lessons.

Here is my first adoption story, what's yours?

It's Okay to Cry

One of the main reasons I wanted to start this blog was to bring forward some of the emotions adoptive mother's have. One thing I absolutely hate to hear is "You have kids the easy way!" WHAT?! Easy? There is nothing easy about adoption. Adoption is hard, emotional, stressful, long and tiresome. Sound familiar? That's right, those are many of the same emotions that women who are pregnant have, the only difference is they know that those emotions will only last 9 months, ours could last for years.

Adopting isn't easy, I don't want anyone to have the idea that all adoptions are as easy as they are for people like Sheryl Crow, Madonna and heaven forbid, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!! No, adoption is a long and emotional journey. But, it is also a journey that is extremely worth it. I wouldn't change anything about our adoptions that we have gone through. We have been so blessed to have the two beautiful children we have and nothing could have prepared me for the strong and often times, over whelming emotions tied with it.

Something that gave me strength was a scripture verse from the Book of Mormon. It is Mosiah 3:4 and it reads "For the Lord hath heard thy prayers, and hath judged of thy righteousness, and hath sent me to declare unto thee that thou mayest rejoice; and that thou mayest declare unto thy people, that they may also be filled with joy."

Your joys are out there, my joys are out there, but while we all wait, my best advice for it all is...

IT'S OKAY TO CRY.

Born In My Heart's Beginnings

There have always been support groups for women and family placing a child for adoption, as there very well should be, but as I am now going through my second adoption I have become to realize that there is a huge need for a support group for couples awaiting or going through the adoption process... hopefully this is it!

Like I said before, my husband Jake and I are trying to finish up our second adoption of our 10 month old son, Colby. We also have our beautiful daughter Jessalyn that we adopted at 5 days old over two years ago.

We love adoption! It has blessed our family so greatly and we could never have asked for more. The blessings that adoption has given us are endless. We also are so blessed to have two wonderful birth mothers now included into our family as well.

I hope to offer helpful links, advice and sharing of stories on this blog. If you want to contribute to this blog in other ways (i.e. sharing your stories, advice, links, etc.) please email me at borninmyheart@live.com. I hope that this blog will help with all the emotions and stress that is involved with the adoption process for all of us who so greatly want nothing more that to be parents!

Thank you for visiting!

Traci